Losing to Gain

Do you feel like you’re always losing something in life?


How many times have you lost something you believed in? Worked hard for? Hoped for? Dreamed of?


If you’ve never lost something important to you, then you haven’t really experienced life in its totality.


This will surely happen. It’s only a matter of time. Loss is inevitable. When I refer to loss, it’s not only in the context of losing a loved one to death or divorce or a breakup. Loss also refers to any life circumstance you held dear to you and it just disappeared or you had no choice but to let it go.

Losing something you value or esteem highly and that you’ve poured your entire being into is not an easy thing. It hurts. It pierces your heart, and no matter how much you try to let go of the pain, it seems so hard and impossible to forget it and move on.


The questions don’t seem to stop. Why me? Why now? Why after I tried so hard? Why after I trusted him/her so much? Why after I spent so much money? Why after I poured my heart into training/mentoring that person? Why after so much personal sacrifice? Why after the business was fully established?


The questions just never seem to run low on steam or battery power.


Only time can heal loss. Let time do its job. In the meantime, take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Loss stinks! It really does. But there’s always that light at the end of every loss—you always GAIN something.


Loss and gain are life’s way of keeping us in check and making sure we have a heart of gratitude.


If you don’t lose some important elements in your life at some point, you’ll never be able to make room for bigger and greater things. You won’t be able to have a heart that is thankful and appreciative of what you have left. You won’t be able to dream bigger dreams. You won’t be able to see clearly and redefine your life direction. You may continue in that cluttered, blocked-off life path that lacks growth if you don’t lose or let go of some things.


There are so many life paths/things/people I have personally lost, but afterward, I gained so much more. Loss of a loved one is not easy—don’t get me wrong. It’s the most painful thing that can happen to anyone.

After losing my dad, the loss stunk so badly. But out of that emerged my writing skills and my newfound passion. That skill was brought forth from his inspiration and the key roles he had played in my life.


My divorce nine years ago was painful, but I have gained a deeper and more powerful knowledge of who I am to the core. That loss gave me the ability to define myself and find my true, authentic self in all its glorious power.


All through my career path—physician, and even now, with my author life path—I have lost some money from business dealings I trusted, which didn’t quite materialize as I had expected. But I always gained something—wisdom and stronger intuition to choose better. Then actually finally knowing whom to look for and what qualities to seek in business dealings. Those losses have served me so well, as I now choose much wiser.

I let go of my first pediatrician job about fifteen years ago, and this gained me my own pediatric practice about a year after I quit that job.


Like the famous saying says, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.


This is so true. Loss does not have to bring us pain for so long. Every time we lose, we gain something. It may take some time, but if we’re patient enough, we will reap some gain—usually something meaningful, bigger, and/or greater.


Even if it’s just loving and fond memories of a person—there’s a lot we gain from those memories, including peace of mind.


And if the memories are mostly negative, just give it time, and work on yourself from the inside out. Work on forgiving and forgetting, and you’ll start to see gains all around you.



It works. Loss always leads to gain. Patience and time and maybe some soul searching are all that are needed.


Even in the context of healthy living—eating right, getting in shape, losing weight—gains you a healthier and happier life.



A home or work space that is cluttered needs to lose some stuff so we can have clarity and work in a clean, light, peaceful environment. Losing stuff and junk gains us peace of mind so we can focus on calmness and positive growth.

Losing to gain…


Loss of clutter gains you a calm, peaceful environment.

Loss of weight gains you better health.

Loss of a loved one gains you sweet memories.

Loss of a job gains you opportunities for a better one or entrepreneurship.

Loss of a relationship gains you better choices for future friendships and true love.




So let’s not be afraid of losing. Only by losing can we make room for greater and have clarity to gain more and better.



May we all stay permanently happy through our losses and gains in life.