On Sunday, May 7, my younger daughter, Moni (13 years old), and I had just finished our church service and decided to walk across the street to the Bed Bath & Beyond store. There were cops
directing traffic, and they helped us cross the main street. As we stepped safely to the other side of the street, we approached an upward ramp that was the exit for the underground parking
As we attempted to cross that second path, a car suddenly drove up the ramp, and the driver was completely focused on the car to her left, making sure it was OK to drive onto the main street. We were standing on her right, ready to cross over.
My daughter immediately held my hand and said "Mummy, she's not making eye contact with us. We can't cross yet."
Wow. This was a proud mummy moment for me. As we eventually crossed over safely, I expressed to Moni how proud I was of her. And she said, "But that's what you've always told me when we're crossing, Mummy. You always say, ‘If they don't look at you and are not making eye contact, it's not safe to cross the road.'"
I felt warm inside and transferred the warmth to her with a big hug.
But my pondering did not stop there. As is normal for me, I examined that situation back and forth in my mind all day. I woke up on Monday morning and finally poured out my lightbulb aha thoughts about that happening on Sunday into writing in my journal.
If we do not make eye contact with someone else when crossing the road, it is not safe to cross in front of them. It is not safe to move to the next step. It is not safe to head in a forward direction. Not only is it not safe, but it is impossible without being knocked down and hurt or knocked down and killed.
As Moni said when we crossed over safely. "Wow, Mummy, if we were not careful, if we crossed in front of her without her making eye contact, she would have hit us and knocked us down, because she just was not looking our way."
I'm certain this is welling up different thoughts in you as you read on.
If we are not making eye contact, seeing eye to eye with others, we cannot make the connections, cannot continue on our forward paths with them. We cannot cross the road to the other side with them. We cannot proceed in forward motion with them.
This applies to many aspects of our existence and our life growth. Our relationships-personal and work—cannot thrive without making eye contact and meaningful connections. It applies to all forms of human divisions also.
How can we begin to reconcile based on race, religion, gender inequalities, and/or economic differences if we don't sit at a round table and look the other person in the eye and make meaningful and purposeful connections.
This will then enable us to cross to the other side and continue on life's forward journey with freedom and with a feeling of safety with the other person.
Without these eye contacts, we may be looking at others we want to reconcile with, but they do not see us. They are focused in other directions. If we cross in front of them without prior meaningful connections, we may get immediately knocked down. But as we look at them and they see us, and a smile appears on each of our faces, soulful intentions are shared, and this is the beginning of acknowledgment, honoring of others, and allowing a safe path in front of us to enable them to walk freely and keep moving forward.
We must be fully present in our daily lives to get these messages as we go about our busy days.
Messages, lessons, lightbulb aha moments are everywhere around us, every single day. If we will only notice them, ponder them, write them down, learn from them, and pass them on to others, who then continue passing them on and on and on, we would all begin to transform from within and change our world for good.